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RainaMarie
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Name: Lindsey
Country: United States
State: Oklahoma
Metro: Oklahoma City
Birthday: 1/29/1982
Gender: Female
Interests: I like singin', shoppin', dancin, Hanging out with friends. I love to fish, its relaxing. I also love to read mysteries and books by Jrr tolkien or CS lewis and other various mystery writers(Michael Connelly is my fav mystery Tho.
Expertise: Makin' coffee, baby! shopping, Dealing with Contract drivers and frac hands.
Occupation: Other
Industry: Other
Message: message me
MSN: Raina3632@hotmail.com
Member Since:
12/19/2004
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| Well I have a new site that you can come and see. Its called Lindsey_Lane and its here at xanga. Come and see me and let me know what you think. | | |
| Well I went and got the tests done that I needed done and now its just a matter of waiting. Waithing for the results is the hardest part of the whole deal. I just wish that I could know right now. but I won't know for another week or so. Im nervous and Im scared, and I dunno what to think anymore. | | |
| This song is by leann rimes. It pretty much sums up everything I am feeling about mikal. Its kinda the way I would talk to him. I heard this song and it just hit home cuz its exactly what I do. I go out to where he is buried and I stand there and cry and talk to him. Mike this one's for you. The song is called Probably wouldn't be this way.
Got a date a week from Friday with a preacher's son
Everybody says he's crazy
I'll have to see
I finally moved to Jackson when the summer came
I won't have to pay that boy to rake my leaves
I'm probably going on and on
It seems I'm doing more of that these days
[CHORUS 1:]
I probably wouldn't be this way
I probably wouldn't hurt so bad
I never pictured every minute without you in it
Oh You left so fast
Sometimes I see you standing there
Sometimes it's like I'm losing touch
Sometimes I feel that I'm so lucky to have had the chance to love this much
God gave me a moment's grace
'Cause if I'd never seen your face
I probably wouldn't be this way
Mama says that I just shouldn't speak to you
Susan says that I should just move on
You oughta see the way these people look at me
When they see me 'round here talking to this stone
Everybody thinks I've lost my mind
But I just take it day by day
[CHORUS 2:]
I probably wouldn't be this way
I probably wouldn't hurt so bad
I never pictured every minute without you in it
Oh You left so fast
Sometimes I see you standing there
Sometimes I feel an angel's touch
Sometimes I feel that I'm so lucky to have had the chance to love this much
God gave me a moment's grace
'Cause if I'd never seen your face
I probably wouldn't be this way
Probably wouldn't be this way
Got A Date a week from Friday with a preacher's son
Everybody says I'm crazy
Guess I'll have to see
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| Well today starts another week. Another week of wonder and worry. Another week of feeling hurt by someone who claimed to care about me but through his recent actions proved himself a liar. Another week of wondering "what the hell am I doing to myself?" and at the end of this week, next sunday actually is my birthday the 29th. Mikals was the 18th and I still haven't gone to see him. Maybe I should take time out and do that today. You know it amazes me that its only been three months but it already feels like eternity that he's been gone and Im still not any better off than I was before. Im not the same person that I was then when He was here. Im different and I hate it. But I wouldn't even know where to start to begin again cuz I don't want to start anything new without him. On the outside looking in it looks like I have it all together but I don't. Im really struggling here for something solid to grab ahold of but everytime I think I have it, it turns out I don't and then Im right back where I started. I'm losing my grip and my nerve and I don't know what to do anymore or how to do it. | | |
| So when is it too late to start over again. I mean I dunno I guess i don't really think its humanly possible to truly start over because you will always remember where you've been and where you started out at. But personal opinions aside. when is it too late to attempt to fix what feels unfixable? Does any of this make sense? I have found out a lot about the guy that I was seein and I can't for the life of me figure out how this guy sleeps at night. Im amazed at how he got caught in his lies and now he clams up and won't talk at all. He won't cop to it either. I caught him red handed and he won't fess up. How dumb does he really think that I am? Honestly. Did he really believe I wouldn't eventually find out? See once things started to not add up I started questioning some things and then I started doing my research. He has lied about so much. Its amazing to me that someone could do something like this. They give you a false sense of security and hope of a future. They make you think you have a future with them and then u turn around one day and find out they are married. WOW. Thats all I can say except I can't believe I let myself get dooped into this. If I could kick myself in my ass I probably would. | | |
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